contributed by; RAJA MAHAMOOD
The husband of a pregnant wife was thinking of buying insurance for his unborn baby.
So he asked PRUDENTIAL and the agent said, "don't worry man, we'll provide insurance right FROM THE BASKET TO THE CASKET".
The man was impressed but thought that he should probably seek another opinion.
He then approached AIA and the agent replied, "Oh, we have a new insurance policy which can protect your unborn child FROM THE WOMB RIGHT UP TO THE TOMB".
The man was stunned but thought that maybe all salesmen like to bullshit and decided to see the agent from GREAT EASTERN.
He told the GREAT EASTERN agent what PRUDENTIAL and AIA had to offer.
The GREAT EASTERN agent thought for a while and then said, "Tell you something, we have one that is even better than PRUDENTIAL and AIA. We'll insure your child FROM ERECTION TO RESURRECTION.
Best excuse by a female employee !
This incident, is supposed to have happened in real life.
My friend, who is a head of Human Resources at a very large bank, says that the best excuse for absenteeism, that he had ever received in his career of almost 22 years, was from a female Indian employee, at their bank's head quarters at Mumbai, India, in July, 2010. He says when the lady, was questioned on why she remained absent the previous day, she simply replied .......
" But sir, I had no option. My husband was on casual leave yesterday and was at home. By mistake he took pills from the wrong bottle in our medicine cabinet and ended up consuming an over-dose of Viagra ! Now how could I have left him, all alone at home, with the house-maid ? "
School:A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance:A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room:A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature..
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
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